The Incel Experience: Popularity in High School and College, and Life After Graduation

Have you ever wondered if incels (short for insecure celibates) were popular in high school or college? And what happens to incels after they graduate and become fully immersed in the incel community? This article aims to explore these questions in detail, focusing on the challenges and experiences of individuals who identify as incels.

Popularity in High School and College

For many students, high school and college are formative years where friendships and social dynamics are established. Often, these experiences can greatly influence one's self-esteem and social confidence. However, not every individual has a smooth path to popularity. In this article, we will discuss the specific experiences of someone who started as an unpopular, bullied individual and navigated their way through high school, only to face new challenges in college.

The author recalls their experiences in high school:
- Initially, they were bullied for being perceived as ugly but managed to make many friends by the end of high school.
- In university, they excelled in remembering names and forming connections within the first few weeks.

However, as the environment changed, the author observed a pattern: within every university and adult social group, the least attractive individuals were often bullied or eliminated by other means. This pattern was so consistent that it became a defining characteristic of social groups, making it extremely challenging for persons who do not conform to conventional beauty standards to remain engaged.

The author's reflections on social dynamics:
- Social skills, while valuable, do not guarantee belonging or acceptance.
- Even with good social skills, individuals who identify as incels often find themselves excluded when it becomes abundantly clear that they will never gain romantic or sexual attention from others.
- Engaging in hobbies or interests often leads to a scenario where these individuals fall in love with someone they cannot pursue, thereby causing emotional distress and eventually, exclusion from the group.

Life After Graduation and Involvement in the Incel Community

Life post-graduation marks a significant shift in the lives of many individuals, including those who identify as incels. As career and personal goals become more paramount, the desire for romantic and sexual relationships often remains unfulfilled. The author shares their transition into the incel community after university:

Initially, the author felt socially skilled:
- They managed to remember and remember the names of everyone in their university accommodation.
- However, over time, they observed a pattern: the least attractive individuals were often excluded by groups through bullying or other means.
- This pattern made it extremely challenging to remain engaged and form lasting relationships with others.

The author's reflections on the incel community include:
- There is a perception of a unified “incel community,” yet this is often misunderstood or misinterpreted.
- The concept of an “incel community” seems more driven by ignorance and prejudice rather than a positive support system.

Conclusion: The experiences shared by the author highlight the complex and often difficult journey of individuals who identify as incels. While they may possess strong social skills, the lack of physical attractiveness is a significant barrier to establishing lasting romantic or sexual relationships. The transition into adulthood and involvement in the incel community further emphasize the challenges faced by these individuals, making it crucial to understand and address these issues with empathy and support.