The Diminution of Decent People: An Age-Old Dilemma

As we journey through life, the availability and demeanor of decent people often become topics of contemplation. I, at the age of 45, find myself in a period where social interactions are scarce. Is it truly a matter of age or have our societal standards for decency shifted?

Age and the Essence of Decency

As individuals age, our definition and expectations of decency often evolve. At 82, I find joy in small acts of kindness and smile genuinely when people offer to help me. This, to me, defines decency. Unfortunately, my younger self, filled with flexibility and openness, now finds it harder to encounter such genuine and selfless behavior. Why are decent people harder to find as we get older?

The Impact of Life Experiences

Our life experiences play a significant role in shaping our perceptions of decency. In our youths, errors and advice are welcomed and embraced. However, as we age, our standards rise and our tolerance for inconsistency diminishes. Random acts of kindness and goodwill seem more rare, leading us to question our expectations and societal norms.

The Evolution of Flexibility

In our early years, flexibility is abundant. From being willing to sleep at a friend's house to tolerating occasional misbehavior and misunderstandings, our teenage and young adult years are marked by adaptability. By the time we enter our 30s, while the carefree attitude may diminish, we develop a deeper understanding of people and a more finite set of social expectations. By our 40s, skepticism takes hold, and the expectations for reliability and maturity become stringent. The window for social error closes significantly.

Unmet Standards and Social Circles

Our social circles also play a role in the perceived decline in decent people. As life gets busier with responsibilities, our interactions with a select group of individuals might foster higher expectations. If we encounter one who falls short of these standards, it becomes a sticking point. People with existing social networks feel a sense of value and obligation to add new members who can contribute positively. This creates a barrier for newcomers, who may be seen as unnecessary rather than valued additions.

Conclusion

While some of the difficulty in finding decent people can be attributed to personal jadedness and a higher standard for social interactions, the broader societal context also contributes to this perception. The shift from a more flexible, adaptable youth to a more discerning, skeptical adulthood is a natural evolution. However, it does not mean that decency is entirely lost but may simply be more selective and harder to come by as we age.