Texting After a First Date: Etiquette and Modern Perspectives

Navigating the fine line of proper etiquette in modern dating can be challenging, especially when it comes to texting after a first date. Many people have varying opinions on whether the guy should initiate the contact, and if so, how to do it effectively.

Traditional View of Etiquette

Conventional wisdom often suggests that the guy should take the lead in initiating follow-up contact after a first date. This is particularly true if he is the one who extended the invitation. The rationale behind this could be that the guy should express his interest and open the door for further interaction. According to the traditional approach, he might text the following evening to ask if you got home safely and to share a pleasant sentiment like, "What a nice time I had. I would love to see you again."

Modern Perspectives on Etiquette

However, with the changing landscape of modern dating, there's a growing sentiment that perhaps the rules of old don't necessarily hold. Some suggest that the proper etiquette is to simply text first, whether you are interested in pursuing a potential relationship or not. This allows both parties to be more transparent and intentional about their intentions.

Why Texting Is Preferred

Texting is often considered the perfect medium for the initial follow-up message after a first date. It’s an immediate way to convey a friendly and positive message. Moreover, it’s convenient and less confrontational compared to making a phone call or scheduling a meeting. Here's an example of a text that a guy might send:

Hey [Her Name], I hope you got home safely. What a great time I had. Would you like to go out again sometime?

Initiating the Call

If you prefer a more personal touch, some suggest initiating a call about three days later. This approach is suggesting a classic courtship move. Nevertheless, it's important to note that not everyone appreciates this traditional approach, and it can come across as intrusive or inappropriate. Traditionalists argue that this method can weed out those who are only interested in casual encounters.

The Case for Breaking the Rules

Ultimately, many modern dating experts advise disregarding outdated social rules that might no longer serve us well. The idea that women should never initiate contact with men because men need to work for it can be harmful. Such rules can discourage genuine connection and treat individuals as commodities rather than humans with agency.

Furthermore, in today's world, both men and women should have equal opportunities to make the first move. If you are interested in the person, you should feel comfortable reaching out. There's no reason you should live your life based on some obscure social rule, no matter where it comes from.

Your Right to Initiate

It's important to remember that you, as an individual, have as much right to initiate a relationship as the other party does. Being intentional about what you want can lead to more authentic and fulfilling interactions. If you don't care about the person, then you can wait for them to contact you, but you shouldn't feel uncomfortable if you do want to reconnect.

Conclusion

The most important thing is to live your life authentically and not let outdated rules dictate your interactions. Text first if you wish, and if you feel comfortable making the first call, go for it. Whether you are building a relationship or moving on politely, the key is to be true to yourself and what you want.

*Keywords: texting after a first date, proper etiquette, modern dating