Respect and Tipping: A Server's Perspective

In the world of service industries, tipping culture is a delicate balance of expectations and personal preferences. Many servers, like your author, have developed unique strategies to handle poor service or lack of tipping. However, is it ethical to confront customers about their tipping behavior in a way that could embarrass them?

Tipping is often a personal choice, influenced by various factors such as service quality, personal circumstances, or cultural norms. It may be more constructive to focus on providing excellent service and creating a positive experience that naturally encourages tipping. Yet, in the case of poor service, some servers have their own methods of addressing the issue.

Confronting Customers with Poor Service

Your experience of leaving two pennies under the plate is a humorous yet effective solution to remind customers about the proper tipping practices. However, it is generally considered inappropriate to directly confront customers about their tipping behavior in a way that could embarrass them. Instead, servers should focus on improving service quality to encourage tipping.

The Art of Cash Tipping

Many servers, especially those who experienced the wage and tax regulations of the past, often prefer to leave cash tips. Cash tipping offers immediate and untraceable rewards, which can be particularly appealing. In some cases, servers might even adopt a confrontational approach if they feel that their efforts have not been recognized adequately.

For instance, in the early 1980s, I knew that if the tip was added to the check, it would be considered a part of my salary and thus taxed. This means that any additional tips left under the saucer would go directly into my pocket. However, if the employer practiced this method on me, I would not hesitate to take my tips out and show them the difference.

Handling Poor Tipping with Diplomacy

While it is understandable to want justice when customers leave insufficient tips, it is essential to handle the situation with discretion. Confronting a customer who has not tipped can be a delicate matter. Some servers recommend not addressing the issue directly, as it could lead to unnecessary confrontations and negative publicity.

Server anonymously states, "If the service was so bad that I don't leave a tip, you won't embarrass me by pointing it out. I will tell you loudly why you got a zero or very small tip." This advice emphasizes the importance of maintaining professional communication and avoiding public shaming.

Another server adds, "Just let it go; write the 0 yourself. Last thing you want to do is confront them if they provided no tip. It's too bad, but tipping isn't required. Long as they paid the restaurant bill, you can't nor can your manager force them to tip." The emphasis is on professional decorum and understanding that tipping is ultimately a choice of the customer.

The Consequences of Confrontation

Confrontation can have severe repercussions. Customers who feel embarrassed or upset might spread negative reviews, leading to a loss of business not just for the restaurant but also for the individual server. A server advises, "You'd be very wrong in my case. I rarely leave a tip on the check. I leave cash. Why? Because I waited tables, and if the tip was on the check, it was added as salary by my employer and taxed. But the buck or two in the 1980s went straight into my pocket and not Uncle Sam's. If you did that to me, I would take my 10-30 or more tip out from under the saucer and show you what you just missed out on."

Instead of engaging in confrontation, servers are encouraged to focus on providing quality service and creating a positive experience. This approach not only encourages tipping but also fosters a more harmonious working environment. Remember, empathy and understanding are key components in handling customer interactions, especially in service-oriented industries.