Socializing
Polite Decline: How to Politely Refuse an Invite for Dinner and Drinks Without Hurting Feelings
Polite Decline: How to Politely Refuse an Invite for Dinner and Drinks Without Hurting Feelings
Phrases to politely decline an invitation for dinner and drinks, preserving harmonious relationships with friends and family.
1. Using an RSVP Card
Sending your RSVP card with a polite decline can be a simple and effective method. If you want to, you can leave a gentle reason why you won't be able to attend. However, it's not necessary to provide a reason; what's most important is to send a thank you gift. A thank you note or card for the time and effort put into the invitation can be a thoughtful gesture.
Example: 'So sorry I would love to but am unavailable. Thanks for thinking of me.'
Alternatively, you can simply use a straightforward response of 'no thank you' without any reason.
2. Honesty and Setting Boundaries
Being upfront about your situation can be a powerful way to decline an invitation. For instance, you can state that the conversation is a concern and find an alternative to cater to your preferences. A recent example:
'I was honest. I asked if we could just keep the conversation light and general, excluding politics. When told no, I said I'd have to decline as I didn't want to be subjected to MAGA talking points and wasn't really into driving for an hour for the experience. Since I'd said I'd teach them how to trap gophers in their yard, I found some good videos and wrote out tips I'd learned as a gopher trapper, showing no hard feelings. We ended on an amicable note, but I’m not going up there for Thanksgiving.'
3. Using Appropriate Excuses
If you need a reason, there are always plenty of excuses available. Here are some examples of excuses that are both polite and honest:
'Sorry, my little sister at home doesn’t need to be babysat. I’ll see if I have plans, or make up plans when the day comes.' 'I don’t know; I’m not really feeling up for it today, or whenever you’ll be doing it.' 'I’ll see if I have plans and make up plans when the day comes.'4. Practicing Setting Boundaries
Saying no can be challenging, but it's a valuable skill that can enhance your relationships and well-being. Here are some tips to help you:
Be calm and assertive: It’s important to remain composed and firm when declining an invitation. You're entitled to say no just as much as you are to be asked. Keep it simple, straightforward, and honest: There's no need to concoct elaborate excuses. Honesty is still the best policy. Practice setting boundaries: If you're not used to saying no, it might feel strange initially. Consider practicing in front of a mirror or with a friend. Even try a day or two of just saying no to things people ask you so you get over the anxiety and the weight of the world. Remember, your boss or job should not be held hostage on your practice day.5. Conclusion
Learning to set boundaries and say no without hurting anyone's feelings is an essential life skill. The key is to do it politely and honestly. By mastering this skill, you can maintain harmonious relationships and live a more fulfilling life.