Overcoming Emotional Desolation: A Fight Worth Winning

Have you ever felt so disconnected from your emotions that every time you think about ending it all, your heart aches and you feel the urge to cry?

Emotional Desolation and Spiritual Awakening

Brothers, your quest for relief in flattering words is futile. Trust in your own strength is misplaced. Take a moment and look deep within—explore your thoughts and deepest desires. In your own heart, honestly judge yourselves. Without bias, figure out who you are. Only in this way will you be revealed before God and the spiritual world.

Everything that comes from the heart returns to it. Within each of us, the heart is filled with poisonous snakes—our passions waiting for the right moment to strike. One of the ascetics who paid attention to himself saw this clearly. These passions emerge like snakes jumping out of the heart, causing pain and feeding on the heart's blood—growing stronger and more venomous in the process.

The Ebb and Flow of Passion within the Heart

A single passion is rarely enough; they work in teams, always sticking together, feeding off each other. It's as if they've formed a union, growing stronger through companionship. As we allow them to fester, they become more comfortable, finding the perfect spot to stay.

For those who work in sin, their hearts are filled with these snakes. But for the saints, hearts are either freed from these snakes or beautified by dispassion. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be free from such constraints? However, this is still a journey, not yet reached by all.

The Inner Battle and Spiritual Struggle

We find ourselves in the middle, wrestling with these snakes. They strike when we least expect it. We've all experienced the feeling of thinking we've squashed one passion, only for another to emerge. It's almost as if they take turns waiting for us to tire. But we cannot let them win. We must strike them and, before they strike again, throw their lifeless bodies out.

This inner battle is the crucible of spiritual growth. It's not a one-time event; it's a process. Sometimes it feels like wrestling eels, but with persistence, we can eventually kill these serpents and throw their corpses out for good. The death of these passions is the cleansing of the heart.

The Power of Repentance and Intentional Deeds

We must remain vigilant. Sometimes, something bad will creep in. If it does, let's be quick to cleanse ourselves through repentance. Our good deeds must be done with the right intentions; pride or resentment must not accompany them. This is the heart of someone enslaved by sin, but on the other side is the heart of the saints, free from such constraints.

The real battle happens between these two places. We fight not alone, but under the banner of the Lord. Equipped with His weapons, He gives us what we need to fight back. Through this struggle, we can show ourselves pure not just before people, but before God, the All-Seeing. So let's keep fighting with a sense of humor, knowing that this struggle will take time. Guide us, Lord. Amen.