Necessity of Common Experiences and Mutual Interests in Building and Sustaining Friendships

Friendship is a multifaceted relationship that can thrive on a myriad of bases. While it is widely believed that having shared experiences and interests is crucial for maintaining a lasting friendship, research and personal experiences suggest that such commonalities are not always necessary to initiate a friendship.

Does It Take Shared Experiences to Initiate a Friendship?

Take a moment to reflect on your closest friendships: there are probably some that did not start with a shared interest or experience at first. It often begins with a simple introduction where individuals do not have a preconceived idea about each other. Gradually, as the bond strengthens, shared experiences and interests emerge.

It is a self-extinguishing characteristic: once you start becoming friends, you begin to share common experiences and find mutual interests. The beautiful part comes when you reflect and realize that you have a decade of friendship built on the foundation of those shared moments, even though you had nothing in common to start with. Openness and acceptance are pivotal here.

Examples and Evidence

It is important to look beyond the initial perceptions and embrace the journey of friendship. Consider the examples provided below:

Example 1: Absence of Commonality Leads to Unexpected Friendship

Here is a perspective from someone who has built a relationship without having any initial shared experiences or interests:

“Absolutely not … at least not to start with. It is sort of a self-extinguishing characteristic. Once you meet someone and start becoming friends, you begin to share common experiences and mutual interests. When you look back and see that you have been friends for over a decade, even though you had nothing in common to start with, you realize you now have a decade of friendship built on common experiences and interests because you were both open-minded enough to embrace the possibility of friendship with someone you did not know anything about!”

Example 2: Friendship Built on Learning and Understanding

Friendship does not just involve shared experiences and interests. It is about how much you understand your friend and how you can help them become a better person. The memories may fade away, but the qualities you have nurtured in each other will remain forever.

“Nope, it isn’t! I have been friends with people having quite different interests and experiences. We differ in hundreds of ways. They have faced few harsh aspects of life which I can’t even imagine going through. Their attitude towards life varies from mine. But still we are friends: you can get to learn lots of new things from their experiences and interests. What really matters in friendship is how much you understand your friend and in what ways you can make them a better person. Small memories you make with friends will fade away gradually. Only thing which will remain forever is the qualities you gave to them and which you got from them!”

Human relationships are complex and nuanced. While it is often easier for two people to bond over shared experiences and interests, it is not a requirement. True friendships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and a willingness to understand one another, even when there are significant differences in backgrounds and experiences.

Conclusion

Friendships can last and flourish without a basis in shared experiences and interests. However, over time, commonalities often develop as individuals share more of their lives together. The essence of a strong, enduring friendship lies in the mutual respect, the understanding of each other’s shortcomings and strengths, and the commitment to each other's growth and well-being.

Always choose your friends wisely, cherish the time spent with them, and understand that friendship is a journey where new experiences and connections can always be made. Remember, the qualities that define a strong friendship are not just about shared interests and experiences but also about the growth and understanding that comes from each other's company.