Navigating the Lone Journey: Dealing with the Feeling of Being Single

It used to feel like a never-ending cycle of insecurity. By the time you even start considering the idea of looking for a partner, everyone around you is already on to their next relationship, or outside focusing on others. It leaves one to wonder: are your insecurities so strong that they make you hesitate, or is it truly difficult to find someone who shares your values and interests?

Loneliness is a pervasive emotion that often surfaces during special occasions. Attending a party or a dinner with partners around you can be particularly challenging. The feeling isn’t exactly envy; it’s a peculiar weirdness that arises from the realization that you are the only single individual in the room. It's not a feeling you can really express to others, making it difficult to manage. But rest assured, you’re not alone in this struggle.

Strategies for Managing Feelings of Loneliness

For instance, I uninstalled Instagram for over 8 months, which drastically reduced my exposure to the curated lives of others online. I also figured out places I could avoid, specifically conversations about relationships, marriages, and other personal issues. Instead, I focused on discussing work, books, and socially relevant topics to keep the conversations light and enjoyable.

When people start sharing their relationship struggles, a simple response such as “I’m not aware, so I can’t give advice on this” has proven to be helpful. It prevented me from getting involved in unwanted stories and chaos.

Of course, there are ups and downs to a life of solitude. There are times when the feeling of being without a partner is overwhelming. I’ve wondered what it’s like to have my very first kiss as I’m still a virgin at the age of 33. Video games and movies always showed me these believable romances that I longed to experience, like Cloud and Tifa, Tidus and Yuna, Aragon and Arywan. These romanticized relationships made me desperate enough to rush my own relationships, none of which worked out. The result: I made myself seem like a spineless wimp, and my logic became horrifyingly primitive.

In the long run, I learned from others that social media paints an idealized picture that makes single people seem like losers in need of rescue. These realities often left me in disbelief, but they helped me realize that being single isn’t all that bad. While it’s not a reason to rush into marriage either, it’s comforting to know that being single can sometimes help you grow. There are times when it can be lonely, but it can also lead to fulfilling experiences with friends, learning, and personal growth. Sometimes you just have to keep searching for that gold at the end of a different rainbow.

The key takeaway: Loneliness and the struggle to find a partner are very real, but they are not insurmountable. You are not alone in this journey, and there are ways to navigate and overcome these feelings. Take a deep breath, surround yourself with supportive friends, and remember that each day is a new opportunity to find love or value in your single life.