Navigating Social Boundaries: Why Not Hanging Out With a Friend is Actually Healthy

Introduction

In a world where social media and online interactions often shape our perception of friendship, it's easy to feel guilty or wonder if we're being selfish when we choose not to hang out with a friend, especially when they are with a group of their other friends. However, there's much more to these choices than meets the eye. Let's explore why not always hanging out can be a healthy and intelligent decision.

Why Not Hanging Out Is Not Being Mean

The idea that you must always hang out with a friend when they are with their other friends can be quite misleading. It’s important to recognize that your friendship is unique and personal. Just because your friend enjoys spending time with a group of their friends doesn’t mean you have to participate in every moment.

It's good that you don’t try to hog all your friend's attention and don't keep her all to yourself. Setting clear boundaries and respecting your own limits is crucial in any healthy relationship. Maintaining your own comfort and happiness is not selfish - it's a form of self-care.

Personal Preferences and Psychological Compatibility

Your choice to not socialize with a friend’s disliked group is not a reflection of meanness or exclusion. It's a reflection of your personal comfort and psychological compatibility with those individuals. There’s no one size fits all when it comes to friendships.

For many years, I had a dear friend who I got together with almost every weekend. I really loved him. However, he also had a group of friends that I disliked, and who really disliked me. I was always civil to his friends, but I did not attempt socializing with them. There was no point in doing so, as it would have created an uncomfortable and possibly harmful situation for everyone involved. Psychological compatibility is key in any social interaction, and it’s perfectly fine to avoid situations that don’t feel right or safe.

Boundaries and Respect

Practicing boundaries is a sign of maturity and self-respect. By setting limits on where and how you spend your time, you are ensuring that your relationship with your friend remains a positive and fulfilling one. You are not expected to force yourself into uncomfortable situations simply because your friend wants you to.

As you practice making boundaries for yourself and following where you intuitively feel safe, you are doing what is best for you. As long as it’s done in respect and kindness, setting boundaries is a healthy choice. It’s not healthy to force oneself into uncomfortable situations just to please someone else, as then one isn’t being true to themselves. Respecting and honoring these boundaries is essential for maintaining a happy and balanced social life.

Conclusion

In conclusion, not always hanging out with a friend when they are with a group of their other friends is a sign of good decision-making and self-care. It’s about respecting your own limits and psychological compatibility, and it’s fully within your rights to choose which social interactions make you feel comfortable and happy. By doing so, you aren’t being mean or selfish – you are being true to yourself. Seeking advice and support when needed is also a wise move, and can help you navigate these complex social dynamics with more ease and confidence.