Navigating Neurodiversity: How Autistic Adults Can Explain Their Condition to Neurotypical People

The Challenge

You can't. Most people, no matter who they are, cannot understand what they can't experience themselves.

This statement, while profound, presents a challenge for autistic adults looking to explain their condition to neurotypical (NT) people. It underscores the fundamental nature of neurodiversity: each individual perceives and interprets the world differently. However, there are effective strategies to bridge this gap and foster mutual understanding.

Foundational Approaches

To effectively communicate the complexities of autism to NT individuals, it is best to ground the explanation in concrete, relatable concepts. This allows NTs to grasp the essence of the experience without being overwhelmed by details. Approaches such as focusing on intuitive dysfunction and sensory processing can be particularly effective.

Intuitive Dysfunction refers to the brain's difficulty in distinguishing between important and unimportant information. For example, in the kitchen, an NT might easily focus on the sound of browning meat, while an autistic person might find it equally distracting to hear the hum of the refrigerator. This relatable scenario provides a tangible example to illustrate these differences.

Sensory Processing is another key area. Explaining that an autistic individual's brain finds it challenging to filter out sensory inputs can help NTs understand the unpredictability and struggles faced by many autistic individuals. For instance, the refrigerator hum might be equally prominent as the sizzling meat, making it difficult to focus.

A Successful Approach

Here is a structured example interaction adapted from a conversation with a wife in the kitchen:

Before I try to explain, I want to offer a caveat. Autism still isn't terribly well understood clinically, even though our understanding is getting better, there are still a lot of unknowns. The best current understanding of what autism is is a developmental disorder that causes my brain to be uniquely bad at deciding what's important and what isn't. And this happens on pretty low-level stuff too. Like: can you hear the sound of the meat browning in the pan? Yes, yeah. Can you hear the hum of the refrigerator running over there? Yes. Do either of those sounds distract you from being able to hear what I'm saying? No. Right. That's pretty normal. NT brains are very good at tuning out extraneous sounds to focus on the important sounds. So naturally, since we're talking and making dinner, those are the sounds that are the most prominent in your attention. The refrigerator hum, while a bit buried in the background, is still part of the noise you need to tune out. Essentially, for me, the refrigerator hum stands as prominently as the sizzling meat, and it's much more competitive with the sounds I want to pay attention to like our conversation. And that's because my brain really struggles to differentiate between sounds that are unimportant like the refrigerator hum and sounds that are important like our conversation, so it doesn't really filter out any of them. Or worse, if there are enough sounds in here, it might start to filter out stuff, but it would do it randomly since it still can't figure out which sounds are actually important.

Expanding the Dialogue

This approach has a couple of advantages. First, using an auditory sensation makes the explanation very easy to understand because auditory perceptual filtering is straightforward to manipulate. By drawing awareness to background noises, you can 'de-filter' and show how these distractions can be overwhelming.

Explaining Intuitive Dysfunctions: Emphasize how the inability to filter out sensory inputs affects daily functioning, whether it's listening to a conversation or focusing on work. This can help NTs understand the challenges autistic individuals face. Discussing the Double-Edged Sword of ASD: Highlight that while autism can be a disability, it also allows individuals to excel in certain areas. For example, cross-modal processing can lead to unique strengths in areas like pattern recognition or creativity. Addressing the Language of Superpowers: Acknowledge that while the 'superpower' language might be uplifting, it can be misleading. Emphasize that autistic individuals are not inherently deficient but have unique perspectives and abilities that contribute to society.

Conclusion

By grounding the explanation in intuitive dysfunction and sensory processing, you can help NTs understand the complexity and richness of autistic experiences. While it's true that autism is still a mystery in many ways, the insights and connections created through concrete examples can lead to greater empathy and understanding.

Further Resources

For those interested in delving deeper, there are numerous resources available online, including blogs, books, and podcasts. Some popular include:

Autism Speaks - A comprehensive resource with news, research, and information on autism. - A community-driven website providing insights and support for neurodiversity advocates. Asperger at Work - Focuses on enabling professionals on the spectrum to succeed in the workplace.

Understanding autism is a journey, but by sharing our experiences and challenges, we can foster a more inclusive and empathetic world for everyone.