Navigating Narcissist Relationships: When to Return Gifts

It's a delicate situation when you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist. The question of whether to return gifts or maintain no contact can be a highly emotional and traumatic decision. Unlike staying silent and donating the gift, breaking no contact can lead to further harm. Here are some crucial insights and questions to consider before deciding to reach out or return gifts.

Breaking No Contact

Breaking no contact, whether you choose to return the gift or not, can be a significant step. It signifies a reaction, and the narcissist will inevitably know that their belongings are bothering you. They may even seize the opportunity to reach out to you. This, however, can lead to a deeper entanglement with the narcissist, which can be detrimental to your well-being.

How Narcissists Respond

Narcissists often hold onto belongings to exert control over you. They might do this in the hopes that you will reach out for the items, creating a trap to have you hoover up and return. This is a sick and manipulative game that they play, feeding off your anxiety and stress. It's essential to be aware of these tactics and to distance yourself tactfully.

Preparation and Education

For those who choose to maintain no contact or return the gifts, preparation is key. Narcissists are experts at manipulation, so it's important to be prepared for any outcome. Here are a few steps to consider:

Reflect on the value and condition of the belongings. Consider if they have reached out for the items before. Assess whether they still have your possessions.

By keeping these questions in mind, you can make a more informed decision. However, it's crucial to always stay one step ahead of their manipulative tactics. Never break no contact without a plan, as this can lead to further entanglement with the narcissist.

Real-World Scenario

The author of this article experienced the pain of breaking no contact when they sent a message to the narcissist after Christmas to thank them for a gift. Although the narcissist pretended to be nice and set up a meeting for the following week, the outcome was quite disappointing. Everything was missing or destroyed, and during the meeting, the narcissist even asked about a PS4 that had been gifted as a joint anniversary present. This experience highlights the importance of educating yourself about the narcissist's tactics and planning every aspect of your response.

Final Thoughts

Returning gifts to a narcissist can be a highly emotional and stressful decision. It's important to always consider the potential repercussions. If you decide to return gifts, do so with a clear mindset and leave the items at a safe distance. For the author, the experience resulted in a large amount of trash and destroyed belongings, reinforcing the need to be cautious and not to fall into the narcissist's traps.

Remember, the primary goal is to protect yourself and your mental health. Be prepared for any outcome, and always strive to be ahead of the game. By staying informed and prepared, you can navigate these challenging situations more effectively.