How to Cope and Recover from a Devastating Loss

When you lose something that meant everything to you, it feels as though you are thrown into a dark abyss, leaving you feeling like you are in hell. However, with the right mindset and actions, you can find your way out. In this article, we will discuss strategies to help you cope and begin the journey towards recovery.

Focus on the Positives

One of the most challenging yet beneficial steps is to find something within you or around you that is good. Reflect on your soul, your character, the benefits you already have, and the good things in your life. Despite the overwhelming grief, there must be something to feel positive about. When you find that one thing, focus on it and continue to search for more. If communicating with a professional or using psychology platforms seems too daunting, remember that there is no shame in reaching out for help.

Another effective route is to find a hobby or activity that brings joy and laughter. Even solitary activities such as reading, singing, playing video games, or practicing music can provide a much-needed break from the daily struggles of grief.

When Less Is More

Heavy grief can leave you with a limited amount of energy. At such times, minimizing your daily tasks and focusing on the essentials can be incredibly helpful. For instance, a simple act like taking a shower or preparing a meal might feel overwhelming. In such a state, do the minimum of what is mandatory while you recover.

Grief can often intertwine with a sense of powerlessness, leading you to believe there should have been something you could have done to prevent the loss. This can trigger feelings of shame or blame. Remember, however, that blaming yourself or others will not change what has already happened. Instead, focus on accepting the situation and understanding that it is something beyond your control.

Self-Care and Acceptance

Self-care is crucial during this time. Practice self-compassion and seek help when needed. Begin by observing your activities and determining which ones are draining and which ones are replenishing. If scrolling through your phone helps you take your mind off the grief, continue doing so. However, if it worsens your feelings, choose a different activity.

When you find that nothing seems to help, it is essential to stop doing the things that are increasing your depletion. Often, we are tempted to ruminate, hoping to find a solution. However, interrupting your thoughts with life-affirming activities or soothing music can be more effective. Find what works for you—whether it is listening to Metallica to let out your anger or laying with Samuel Barber's Adagio For Strings to ease your pain.

Another powerful tool is working with your body. Desensitizing the tension you are holding can be done through intentionality, intensity, and repetition. Decide to do something and be aware of why you are doing it. Try different intensity levels, such as drinking ice-cold water or jumping back, and practice consistently. Be gentle with yourself throughout this process.

Taking the Next Steps

Once your energy has recovered, you can start to design a new response to your experience. Accept the fact that you are dealing with powerlessness and the unknown. It is challenging, but by accepting the situation and taking care of yourself, you can begin the recovery process. Remember, good luck on your journey toward healing.