From Childhood Disappointment to Adult Bliss: The Joy of Canceling Plans

Picture this: You’re five years old and your parents have just told you that tomorrow you’re going to the zoo. Or the carnival or Disney World or whatever. You’re so excited that you can’t sleep that night.

But when you wake up in the morning and run to your parents with your stuffed zebra ready to see the animals, they tell you something that makes your heart sink. “Sorry sweetheart, it’s raining today. We’ll go next week instead.” The feeling of disappointment followed by tears is a common experience for many children. However, as an adult, the idea of canceling plans can bring about a surprising amount of joy and relief.

The Psychological Shift: Joy in Cancellation

The sentiment is echoed by comedian John Mulaney, who humorously notes that canceling plans is akin to receiving a dose of instant relief. The freedom of doing nothing and escaping social obligations can be incredibly liberating for an adult. When an event or gathering is canceled or postponed, the response often includes a quick feigned disappointment, followed by a smile, a comfortable shift into pajamas, and a cozy return to bed.

The Different Perspectives: Childhood vs. Adulthood

As a child, plans are a source of excitement, and their cancellation can feel like a loss, with the pain of the indefinite wait ahead. But as an adult, plans can feel like an unnecessary burden, giving one the perfect opportunity to relax and recharge. This change in perspective is evident in the way adults handle the cancellation of social or family events. It’s no wonder that canceling plans becomes a source of instant happiness in adulthood.

The Prospective of Not Keeping Obligations

For many adults, being able to cancel plans without feeling guilty is a dream come true. Unlike childhood, where the thought of letting friends or family members down might feel like a big deal, as an adult, the priority is on personal convenience and well-being. Whether it's a late-night work meeting or a weekend brunch, being able to skip out seamlessly can be a refreshing break from the regular grind.

Common Traumas of Childhood: The "Kitchen Closed" Experience

Another significant aspect of childhood that often brings about mixed emotions for adults is the bedtime routine often enforced by strict parents. Childhood was a time when the kitchen would literally be closed, and no more food would be available until breakfast. This was a severe restriction that meant that any snacks or late-night nibbles were off the table once the kitchen was shut.

For many of us, this stringent rule was a sign of a challenging upbringing. However, in retrospect, it can be seen as a well-intentioned practice. During my childhood, my mother, coming from a time when resources were scarce, made sure we didn’t snack excessively between meals, as it could disrupt our appetite for the next day’s dinner. Despite the inconvenience, I became quite adept at sneaking a fruit or a box of crackers when the opportunity arose.

Conclusion: Embracing Childhood "Losses" as Adult Wins

It's fascinating how what feels like a childhood loss can become an adult win. The ability to cancel plans and the experience of having a closed kitchen are just two examples of how our perspectives change as we grow. While it may be disheartening as a child to hear that something we were looking forward to is on hold, as adults, we can use these moments to prioritize our needs and desires, making the most of the present moment without the burden of obligations.

The joy and freedom that come with canceling plans remind us of the importance of setting boundaries and valuing our own well-being. Embracing these "wins" from childhood can help us find more happiness and contentment in our adult lives.